


Jackson Whittemore

by thatguy516



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Werewolf Jackson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-25
Updated: 2014-04-25
Packaged: 2018-01-20 17:15:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1518737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatguy516/pseuds/thatguy516
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A simple look into the head of a boy who has been through so much that he feels the need to push everyone else away.</p>
<p>This is less of a fanfic and more of a character essay. I wrote it to explore Jackson's character a bit more, and to keep myself focused on how he would handle different situations as I incorporate him into one of my other works.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jackson Whittemore

**Author's Note:**

> As I said in the summary, this is not a fanfic so much as a character bio I wrote for myself. As I didn't intent to publish it, there are a fair few mechanical mistakes I haven't bothered to correct. The most notable is the switch from past to present tense, and back again. I'm sorry if that makes it difficult to read, but, like I said (three times now), this wasn't meant for anyone but me.
> 
> As it is, I've slapped a Spotify embed into it, and I'm hoping that the song matches the writing at least a little bit. Enjoy :)

 

Jackson Whittemore

 

Jackson is a prime example of what happens to someone when they've been hurt and don't know how to handle it. When he discovered he was adopted, it changed him on a fundamental level. Lots of times people say things like “I always felt like something was different about me” or “I just knew I didn't quite belong”. With Jackson, though, that was absolutely not the case.

 

He never had any reason to complain. The Whittemores always loved him, and he always felt like part of their family. Being a Whittemore, to Jackson, was a point of pride. He truly believed, on the most primitive of levels, that he was their son. There was no doubt in his mind. To learn that he was adopted made him feel, in spite of all the love the Whittemores had given him, as though he had been betrayed in the worst possible way.

 

Teenagers really aren't meant to feel that sort of betrayal. In fact, no human really should feel like that at all. People aren't made to cause pain to others, and we aren't programmed to deal with it easily when that sort of thing happens to us. Jackson coped with it the best way he knew how; he pushed everyone away. There's no risk of getting hurt if they can't get close enough to hurt you in the first place. He completely changed his identity, becoming someone that no one even wanted to be close to in the first place. In time, all of his friends leave; Danny is the only exception. Danny was there from the beginning, from before Jackson knew the truth about himself, and he's the only one who cared enough to push passed the cold exterior Jackson put up and convince him that he really cares. He's the only human being that Jackson let in.

 

When things got a bit overwhelming for Jackson, he channeled all of his focus into lacrosse. It gave him an outlet, a way to release all his aggression and cope with the loneliness of his self-imposed emotional exile. As a result, he began to excel at it; it became something Jackson could call his own. He was good at lacrosse, and it was something he did entirely on his own, without anyone there to pressure him into it. It was something for him to take pride in once more.

 

Of course, nothing good can last very long, and naturally Scott McCall, who had never been very good at lacrosse, was suddenly very good at it. It infuriated Jackson. He spent years working to get where he was. Endless workouts and strength training and eating all the right foods in all the right portions got Jackson to where he was, and Scott went from the shittiest of players to best on the team literally _overnight_. There was no way anyone could accomplish something like that. At all. Jackson was convinced that something shady was going on, and he was determined to find out what it was.

 

For the next few weeks, Jackson had Scott McCall under the hypothetical magnifying glass. It wasn't as though he payed that much attention to the boy before; Jackson actually tried to keep his distance. After all, for all the things Scott didn't have, he didn't have much to hide (at least not until now). Whatever he did, you could be sure that it was one hundred percent Scott, no ulterior motives or secrets. He was never afraid to be himself, and because of that, he was a truly happy person. Jackson could have any material thing he wanted with barely so much as a phone call to his “parents”, but none of the things he had even came close to filling the emptiness he had become accustomed to feeling. To say that Jackson wasn't jealous of that alone would be a trashy, horrible lie.

 

When the idea of lycanthropy first seriously occurred to Jackson, he thought he was going crazy. Being locked in the school with Scott, Lydia, Allison, Stiles and the Alpha (though he didn't know it was the Alpha at the time) did two things for him. Firstly, it made him much more confident in his assumption that werewolves were, in fact, a thing. Secondly, it put a serious ache in his heart; being locked in that school with that particular group of people  made him see the sort of camaraderie that he has been trying so desperately to push away. It was the closest he'd felt to anyone other than Danny for a really long time. 

 

Naturally, his reaction was, when everything was said and done, to be more of a douchebag to McCall than ever before.  If some omnipotent being, who could see Jackson Whittemore for who he truly was, asked why Jackson was going out of his way to be terrible to Scott and Stiles, Jackson would not be able to give them an answer. Nevertheless, that's how things are.

 

Jackson eventually catches on, and yeah, Scott is a werewolf. That's cool, but now Jackson wants it too. Because apart from Scott and Derek, it's something no one else has. It's different, it's  _cool,_ and with it comes insane potential to be the best at everything he does. The fact that he  _knows_ that he would be a better werewolf than Scott goes without saying. He would get his advantage on the lacrosse field, and more than that, he would make McCall look like a silly little puppy wallowing in the shadow of the perfection that is Jackson Whittemore.

 

It takes some time (and some serious groveling), but he eventually gets himself bitten. Seeing as the universe has a “fuck you” complex when it comes to his life, though, the damn bite goes wrong, and he doesn't get turned. He just ends up with some weird pains and blackouts, and a scary bout of black shit coming out of his face occasionally.

 

When Stiles  _kidnapps_ him and tells him he's  _becoming a great snake that's going around Beacon Hills_ _killing people,_ he kinda freaks out a little bit. Everything until now has been about Jackson, and though he was being as selfish as a person could be, he never wanted anyone to get hurt, let alone because of something he caused.  It puts the fear of God into him. It chills him to the bone and even deeper, if there is such a thing. The very core of his being, his soul itself, is terrified of what he has become.

 

Once again, the reaction is to push everything and everyone away. It's a practiced motion. It's literally second nature to him. If personality were a muscle, this is something that would be so ingrained into his muscle memory that he might not even know he's doing it.

 

We all know what happens from here on out; Jackson is the Kanima, Matt gets caught, Gerard does his evil thing, and Jackson almost-sorta-for-realz dies. The next notable point in his life is the moment he  feels the cold press of the key in his hand. This moment is the most crucial for Jackson. If one were to observe from the outside, they might say that Jackson finally turned, because, in spite of everything, someone finally said they loved him. The observer would not be wrong. It's the turning point in his life. It lasts a fraction of a second, but carries more importance than anything else in his life. It's the moment Jackson Whittemore is forced to see himself for what he truly is. Every flaw, every accomplishment, basically his whole life is put on display for him all at once, and he's forced to face it as though he is some sort of lycanthropic Dorian Gray.

 

I n that one, solitary moment, Jackson saw himself exactly for who he was; his eyes were opened, and something extraordinary happened. He accepted himself.  He owned up to everything he had done, at least to himself, and the change was almost instantaneous. The blockade, though it was only mental to begin with, had been removed.

 

The bite took.

 

In the days that followed, Jackson shut himself in his room. He let a grand total of three people in. Derek was the first, because he was a werewolf now and Derek had werewolf things to walk him through (and he kept pushing Jackson to talk about himself and the Kanima and the like, but...no. Just...no). Lydia was next. He had to make things right with her. He loved Lydia. Even as she pushed the key into his hand and walked away, he loved her. He never meant for her to get hurt like she had. He'd only meant to keep her safe from whatever it was that he was going to be in the middle of. If there was anything Jackson needed her to know, it was that he still cared for her in every possible way. Ultimately, she left his house secure in that knowledge, though not very comforted about the whole thing.

 

The third person he let see him was someone who was probably the most hurt by the whole thing. Danny had no idea what was going on. When he saw Jackson do down on the lacrosse field, he had been terrified. When they told him Jackson was dead, his world stopped. If there was ever an innocent person in Beacon Hills, someone who just wanted to live his life to the fullest and remain ignorant of anything supernatural, it was Danny. He deserved it. He was as pure as they come, and for that reason, he was probably the one who was most damaged by all the chaos of these few days.

 

As such, Jackson decided that he deserved to finally know the truth.  That morning, lying with his best friend on the silk sheets of his bed, Jackson told Danny he was a werewolf. Danny looked into his deep blue eyes for a moment, before pulling him into a warm embrace and crying into his shoulder. It was through choked sobs that Danny told him that no matter what else happened, he was just glad his best friend was alive. After a few moments – Minutes? Hours? – The two of them separated and began to sort through the mess of emotions that were left behind in the aftermath.

 

O n this side of things, Jackson Whittemore was a changed boy. The cold, dark mask he had been wearing for years had fallen to pieces, leaving him cold and exposed. Jackson wished he could say that he was at peace with himself, and in a sense, he was. In a much more intimate sense, though, he had no idea who he was or how to deal with the acts he committed, both as the Kanima and beforehand. No, it would take some time, and a whole lot of space to sort through.

 

As the door closed behind Danny, a plan began to hatch in Jackson's mind.

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you're reading this, then you've read ^^ that, and for that I thank you. If you liked it, please let me know, either on here or on tumblr (thatguy516.tumblr.com). I'm particularly interested in how you feel about the content of this piece, as it's going to be the backbone for how I write Jackson into my other work. Any feedback would be...more than great. Spectacular maybe.
> 
> And of course, I don't own Jackson, Teen Wolf, or any other publicly identifiable ideas, characters, scenes, etc...
> 
> Please take the time to read the other things I've posted. Part Three of my Triskelion series is in the works, and if you liked this, you'll like that.
> 
> :)


End file.
